It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize