yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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