We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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