I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
