I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
