I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
