i permit you to call me
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
How's work?
Spinning.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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