So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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