Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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