and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
