i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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