i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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