Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
we made out on top of his cat.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
