He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
