I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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