I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
