my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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