we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize