just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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