I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize