he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
pop tarts are not kleenex
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
