New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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