Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
