i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
handjob tips. give me some.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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