I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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