guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
