I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Randomize
