So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
