Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
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I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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