I'm gonna have a badass scar
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
