I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I need to align my fucking chakras
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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