Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
