im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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