Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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