is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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