The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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