Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
