The maid of honor just puked.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
