I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize