I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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