I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
