I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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