I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
