They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize