I want to stick my p in your. b.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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