You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I am mentally ready for anal.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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