HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
