My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Drunk is a universal language darling
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