My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
