I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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