If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
