Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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