some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
