if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
