oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
