and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize