Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
