Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
