We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
