Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
