There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
