i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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