Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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