Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
