the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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