My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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