oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You did what with his pubic hair?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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